Red Division

STEROID SCANDAL IN THE BOHC?

Posted November 27 2009 by Red Convenor

STEROID SCANDAL IN THE BOHC?

The arenas of Burlington have been abuzz with the sudden offensive outburst of Rick MacLellan, captain of the Red Rockets in the Red Division of the BOHC. The usually quiet, steady, stay-at-home defenseman has recently become a one man offensive juggernaut scoring an amazing 6 goals, countless assists, winning crucial face offs and generally dominating all other players in his last 2 games.
Unnamed sources within the BOHC are concerned that “Super Rick” has been going to the same pharmacy as Barry Bonds and are considering having him tested for banned substances. Team mates have become increasingly aware of a certain aura surrounding Rick and readily admit that when they sit beside him in the change room they develop a feeling of calm and confidence. Arena staff reports describe a supernatural feeling when cleaning the rooms after Rick has played and feel as if they are being watched by some mysterious being.
Opposing players, who did not want to be identified, have given descriptions like “his hands were so fast, they were a blur” or “I saw him coming and just knew that there was nothing I could do to stop him” One goalie said “the puck was coming so fast it looked 5 feet long” and “the ice was getting soft behind the net because he kept lighting the lamp”
If Rick continues at this torrid pace he will shatter all existing and imagined records within the BOHC scoring hundreds of goals. Other teams need to be aware of this superior threat. Can he be stopped? Will these magical powers disappear as suddenly as they appeared? Is he “juiced”? Or…is he even from this planet?

The Unknown Blogger